In this blog I offer my thoughts on the process of abortion and not just this issue, but any issue where moral judgement has a tendency to distract us from acknowledging our deep inner truth. The judge in many of us is so powerful that it frequently takes over from our ability to feel the profound pain and grief that goes with a process such as abortion.
The issue of abortion inevitably triggers strong feelings in people and for the most part, opinions and moral judgements are deeply polarised with vehement voices both for and against the process. In Ireland recently, a law was passed giving the go-ahead for abortions to take place. Many people were delighted with their newly found freedom and felt released from the historic oppression of the Catholic Church in this respect.
When abortion emerges in constellation work, it carries this load of judgement with it. Those who feel ‘justified’ in having an abortion or see no problem with it, nonetheless at a soul level cannot help but be affected by their action.
In my years of working in Romania, where there are vast numbers of abortions taking place over several generations, I see a constantly recurring pattern – either of atonement, which manifests itself by subsequent infertility, miscarriages, illness or failure to thrive, or complete denial, leading to similar consequences for subsequent generations somewhere in the family.
I know of several people now in their 40s who are unable to conceive following either their own abortion(s) or abortions of their mother or grandmother. I also know of people with diseases such as multiple sclerosis; a child of 12 who kept seeing ghosts all round her (Her father had had 5 abortions.). One man whose mother had had at least 50 abortions, could feel nothing. His whole body structure was like a stone. Fortunately, the current generation seem to be using contraception more and less abortions are occurring.
When the constellations are set up, aborted children mostly feel either angry or dissociated and have no place. Representatives generally report feeling unseen, like they don’t belong and subsequent children often lay down on the ground beside them.
In China, even more abortions have taken place, mainly influenced by the one-child policy. I heard of a case in China where a gynaecologist had performed over 200 abortions over several years. One day she was asked to perform an abortion for a seven-month-old baby. The baby was alive when it was removed from the mother’s womb and was left on the table to die. This gynaecologist could no longer perform abortions after this event. Instead she devoted her time to advising people in China not to abort their children.
As a facilitator of constellation work, I see it as part of my role to help clients face what is. If they are not ready or are unwilling to do so, then I withdraw and leave them with the consequences of their actions. I do not see it as my job to make someone feel better, but more to help them as best I can to face what is. I feel no judgement towards anyone who has an abortion. I’m sure there are very good reasons in most cases why this action is taken. But in my experience, no permanent healing comes from this act, until we are able to look the foetus in the eye and acknowledge that we have given them life and taken that life away from them. This is a pure statement of fact, nothing more, nothing less. Facing our deepest inner truth is a very painful process, but it is a profound movement of the soul and has potential for great healing. It is no different to any other victim/perpetrator process. It is not until we can uncover and own our inner perpetrator that healing becomes possible.
Those of us immersed in constellation work know that havoc is wreaked across generations when we turn back on someone or something and the whole process of constellation work is about helping us and those generations who have gone before us, to turn round again and look at what we or our predecessors originally turned their back on.
It is hard as a facilitator to take such a stance. We are expected to be kind and empathic, but we do the client no favours at all if we don’t have the courage to speak out these deep inner truths.
When a client is fully ready to face an aborted foetus, the ritual of making contact with the unborn child is deeply moving and can lead to a lasting release for the soul, but this movement can only happen when the person’s soul is ready for such a step. It cannot happen from the will.