Does anyone else feel like I do?

I’m 72 years old, still working, living alone – divorced 30 years ago and my children left home around 20+ years ago.

Currently my kitchen drains are blocked. I have a very nice plumber, been coming for years but he can’t fix this particular problem. Where shall I go? I ask around for some names, look in the local directory, ring a few. Of the one I actually got to speak to, I’m told ‘Oh you need Dyno-rod for that’. OK on to the website I go. Give all your personal details. Make an appointment – nothing between now and December. Oh there’s a phone number. Do I want to ring them and sit on the phone for half an hour until they decide that somebody’s available to ring me? How many hours, how much money will I need to spend before I eventually find someone to fix my drains, which I’m told by my regular plumber are badly designed, with cheap materials and not angled for the water to flow properly.

My freeze box in my fridge doesn’t work. It keeps frosting up. I manage eventually to get hold of someone who knows about fridges/freezers but he can’t fix my problem. ‘You probably need a new one’. Throw out a perfectly working fridge which I’ve only had a couple of years, because the freeze box doesn’t work? OK look for a small freezer that will fit under my kitchen cupboards. Online I go – can find nothing small enough. I visit a shop – nothing available.

No-one around to advise me. They’re all busy with other customers.

I visit the supermarket to stock up my fridge so at least I have some food available. I don’t want to use the self-service facility but how long is the queue for the only sales assistant available on the till? Cash? No of course not, cards only these days.

I want to be able to align my smartphone and my computer so when I take a photo it comes up simultaneously on my computer. How do I do that? My grandson tries to help me – online of course.

Something goes wrong with my TV. I ring the company, half an hour till someone answers the phone. ‘Go online and …..’ But I don’t WANT to go online. I hate it! I need a password for every step I take. ‘Make your passwords difficult to recognise’; don’t store them anywhere; don’t have the same one for different sites’. How is my poor ailing memory supposed to cope with that!

‘Oh I sent you an email. OK, go into my emails – plough through 59 rubbish ones before I find anything resembling a normal person trying to get hold of me. ‘Oh these emails will save you lots of time’ I remember being told and of course naively believed. How long to do I spend every day now online, deleting everything I don’t want to read?!

I have 4 grandchildren. Where are they? Two are 40 miles away – 1.1/4 hours away, the other more than twice that. Come to visit? ‘Well, let’s check diaries and see when we can fit you in’.  Do I feel needed? Like I have something to offer them? No, I feel I’m in the way, an added person to feed, change the beds for, in an already hectic, too busy life for my child and his/her partner – working full time and just about keeping their heads above water with managing all the clubs and activities their children go to after school. And how is school? Exhausting, over-stimulating, pressurised, with disenchanted teachers who can’t do what they really want to be doing with the children, because the powers that be dictate that Maths and English are the most important things in the universe if they want to succeed in life, make money etc. (The modern idea of happiness).

Problems with my bank. Try going online. Can I find what I need? No. Ring them up. Half an hour waiting time, sometimes more. Eventually I get someone the other end of the line – your passcode Madam? I give what I think is my passcode. ‘Sorry that isn’t what we have in our records. I’ll have to go through some security questions with you. ‘What was your last payment on your bank statement?’ ‘If I knew that I’d be able to get into my bank and eventually find the statements’ but I can’t get in! ‘3rd and 4th digit of your password please’. Now which one of the ten passwords listed in my diary (yes I know I shouldn’t be writing them down) is it? ‘Can I come into the bank and sort it out with you?’ Well we don’t have any branches near you anymore. You would have to drive for an hour and then you wouldn’t be able to talk to anyone personally. They would just direct you back online.

Oh I’ve had enough I think to myself. I’ll go for a walk, get some peace and quiet. ‘Well at least I have a bit of green near me with the local park’ I comfort myself. Some people don’t see green from morning till night. So I do have that at least, but peaceful? Certainly not, loads and loads of dogs charging about, barking, jumping up. I have nothing against dogs per se but they seem to dominate the park areas. Where are all the little children? The council come up with a good idea: Fence off an area specifically dog free for little ones – with gates that dogs can slide under and are often left open in any case.

‘Maybe I can ease up on my work soon, do less. I am 72 after all. But I can’t survive on my state pension alone, unless I give up my car and live very simply – may end up with that. At the same time, everything’s soaring in price. Utilities – I have to submit a reading at least once a month or they will estimate my bill at way above what I would normally pay. Current estimated gas bill for next year? £8,658. They must be kidding surely!

In the good old days …….

My children and grandchildren hate me saying this but I can’t help comparing.

Of course, it wasn’t ideal but many, many things were easier.

Blocked drains? Oh let me see if Mr. Wright is available. I’ll pop down to the telephone kiosk and give him a ring. ‘Oh hello Mr. Wright, I’m having some problems with my drains. Might you be able to help?’ ‘Of course, Mrs. Morgan how about I pop round this afternoon and have a look? If I can’t do the job myself I’m sure I’ll be able to recommend someone who can’. Wow thanks Mr. Wright.

Freeze box has seized up. Oh I remember the days when we just had a larder. Never froze anything. Not even a fridge! The milk didn’t go off. It was different. It was in a glass bottle and delivered fresh every day. But ok I am lucky enough to have a fridge and/or freezer. Problems? I’ll wander down to my local hardware shop – ‘Hi, Mr. Jones, do you know anyone who could fix a freeze box that keeps frosting up’? Yeah sure, old Bert Thomas in Eastfield Ave will be able to help. I’ll give him a ring for you. Oh thanks, you sure it’s no trouble?’ ‘No, of course not. All part of the service.’

Photos? ‘Ok stand still for a moment while I get you lined up. OK smile now!’ Few minutes later all is done. ‘We’ll have those photos (black and white) with you in a few weeks’. Three weeks later a pile of photos comes through the door, beautiful glossy photos I can put in an album and access with ease whenever I feel like a moment of travelling down memory lane.

TV? I’m around 15 and our first tele is about to arrive – secondhand from the local electrical shop – huge, heavy contraption, pictures hard to find as my Dad travels round the flat with his hand held aerial. Eventually, hooray we have a picture! Black and white of course. Major event to watch it, maybe once a week. In the meantime, we can listen to fictional ‘Journey into Space’ on our huge wireless on the sideboard or play cards or monopoly together.

Mortgage? No, we’re in a council flat. The rent man comes once a week to collect our rent – in cash. All duly noted by hand in our rent book, which lives in the end drawer of the sideboard.

Now where’s that letter from Louise I got two weeks ago? I feel like sitting down and writing back. I always enjoy my relaxing afternoons, reading letters from friends and family, writing back to them and walking to the postbox to post them.

Grandchildren? Oh yes one set live just round the corner. Sometimes they drop in on their way home from school. They chat about their day while Mum then has time at home to prepare tea for them and Dad’ll be home from work around 6pm so he’ll be able to play some games or read to them before they go to bed.

Yes I’ve finally got a bank account. In some ways it’s easier, but I still need my cash so I know easily how much money I’m spending each week. I think I’ll wander down to the bank tomorrow morning to talk to the manager about how I’m managing things. He might be able to advise me on the best place to put my savings.

Where are the grandchildren today? Oh, they’re off playing in the fields, climbing trees, building crossings for the streams with the pebbles, hopefully not scrumping Farmer Giles’ apples! I think I’ll wander up my favourite hill later. It’s lovely to be able to walk for miles without seeing a soul. Does my heart good.

I don’t have masses of money but I can live cheaply. I don’t need a car – everything I need is close to hand and I can always get the local bus anyway. All the services are nearby. My local doctor visits me regularly to check I have everything I need, always stays for a cup of tea, asks how the family are doing.

I’ll need to light the fire soon, so we have some hot water for bath night. Once a week’s enough for us as children. With no central heating, we can’t bear to wash in the mornings. Just a lick and a promise is all that's necessary. Wow the toilet! That cistern so way up high and that long chain! Nothing ever gets stuck in this drain!!